到哪里都是主场，每分钟都是加时

Conan O'Brien

More unrest in Iran as the government continues to crack down on protesters. And to disperse crowds, Iranian police used tear gas, water cannons and the NBC primetime lineup.

伊朗骚乱愈演愈烈，政府继续镇压抗议者，为了驱散人群，伊朗警察动用了催泪瓦斯，高压水枪和NBC的黄金时间节目阵容

Some experts are saying the Iranian election was rigged because in some towns, voter turnout was more than 100%. What’s even stranger, all those extra votes were from elderly Jewish people in Palm Beach, Florida.

有专家说伊朗大选作弊了，因为有的城镇投票率超过了100%，更奇怪的是，这些多余的选票都是来自佛罗里达棕榈海滩的老年犹太人。

According to a new report, Ford, General Motors and Chrysler have greatly reduced their number of customer complaints. The automakers did this by greatly reducing their number of customers.

根据调查显示，福特通用和克莱斯勒收到的用户投诉大幅度减少，他们是通过减少顾客数来取得这样的成就的

David Letterman

Did you hear this? Hillary Clinton busted her elbow. Apparently, she slipped and hit the floor when she went home to her husband early, unannounced.

听说了吗？希拉里上了胳膊，他提前没告诉克林顿就回家结果滑到摔倒了地板上

But the supreme leader said that the Iranian elections were not rigged. Well, that’s good enough for me.

伊朗最高法官宣布大选没有作弊，我信了还不行吗？

Conan O’Brien

The bad economy is affecting the numbers of available jobs. So, many new college graduates are choosing to spend a year volunteering at a nonprofit organization. These nonprofit organizations include Chrysler and GM.

经济形势不好影响了就业机会，现在很多毕业生选择现在非盈利机构工作一年，比如克莱斯勒和通用。

David Letterman

They’re having a lot of trouble over there in Iran. They had the presidential election. And Mahmoud Ahmadinejad — it was controversial, they were tied, and now he’s claiming that he won by a landslide. So his opposition, they’re out on the streets. And you know, when you’re out in Iran, you’re not supposed to be — public displays, no, you can’t do that. And it’s like hundreds of thousands of people in the streets now protesting this election. And the government is going crazy. And they’re saying, “No, no, no, no. It’s not a — no, that, that’s not a protest. Those are folks just lining up to get their new iPhones.”

伊朗乱套了，刚进行的大选，内贾德一开始跟他的对的票数不分上下，后来却是完胜对手。很多民众上街游行，但是政府说，不不不，那不是抗议，那是大家在等新款iphone

Here’s fascinating news. Dick Cheney, do you remember Dick Cheney? Dick “Boom Boom” Cheney. His approval rating is up to 26 percent, up to 26 percent. Yeah, crazy, isn’t it? He’s been upgraded from hated to unpopular.

有个好玩的消息，切尼，那个牛B的切尼，他的支持率上升了26个百分点，他已经从被痛恨变成了不受欢迎

I’m not surprised that Dick Cheney’s approval rating has really soared, really skyrocketed, up to 26%. Because you know, he gave people what they wanted. He left office.

切尼支持率飙升太正常了，因为他做了人民希望他做的事情，他卸任了。

Craig Ferguson

Not such a great day for Hillary Clinton. She fell down, broke her elbow. You know, Fox News is going to be all over this story. This proves the Democrats are weak. Reagan fell over 10 times, didn’t even break his hair.

今天希拉里克林顿不怎么走运，她跌了一跤摔到了手肘，Fox电视台又要开始小题大做了，这证明了民主党太弱了，里根摔过十几次，毫发未损。

Jimmy Fallon

In his speech yesterday, former President George W. Bush attacked President Obama’s policies on anti-terrorism, health care, and the economy. Then Bush spent the next 20 minutes trying to kill a fly.

前总统布什在昨天的演讲中批评了奥巴马的反恐，医保和经济政策，然后剩下的二十分钟他一直在努力打死一只苍蝇。

Jimmy Fallon

John McCain said on his Twitter feed, on Monday, that he’s buying a brand new Ford Fusion hybrid. A year ago, McCain didn’t use a computer. Now he’s on Twitter and buying a hybrid. What’s going on? I think he’s like Benjamin Button. He’ll be a cute little baby.

麦凯恩在twitter发布消息说他买了一个福特Fusion的混合动力车。一年前，麦凯恩连电脑都不会用，现在他用twitter还买了个混合动力车。怎么回事？是不是他变成了本杰明巴顿，他就要变成帅小伙了。

Conan O'Brien

Senator John McCain announced today that he bought a hybrid car. Apparently, McCain thinks a hybrid car is one that has AM.and FM radio.

麦凯恩宣布他买了一辆混合动力车，显然，他以为混合是指车既能收到AM也能收到FM广播的信号。

General Motors has sold the car company Saab to a European company that only produces about a dozen cars a year. General motors said, “It’s a perfect fit because we only sell a dozen cars a year.”

通用把旗下品牌SAAB卖给了欧洲一家小公司，那家公司每年只生产几十辆汽车，通用表示这各合作很合适，因为我们每年也就只能卖掉几十辆。

Jimmy Kimmel

Hey, I want to be among the last to offer congratulations to our hometown Los Angeles Lakers. On Sunday, they won the N.B.A. championship. There was some vandalism near the Staples Center after the Lakers won. You probably heard about it. Some people even torched vehicles, but they were mostly G.M. dealers.

我希望现在恭喜湖人夺冠还不算晚，上周日他们夺得了NBA的总冠军。在斯台普斯中心附近很多人兴奋地开始破坏公物，有些人甚至点燃了汽车，但是那帮人是通用的经销商。

David Letterman

I’ll tell you, to be honest, I was quite nervous about this whole thing. And I was really nervous about an apology to Sarah Palin. So what I did to get my confidence up, to get my nerves to settle down, I rehearsed by apologizing to Tina Fey. That helped. That was a big help.

说实话，我很紧张，因为要向佩林道歉，我怎么才能消除紧张呢，我对着Tina Fey彩排了一遍。

And the Iranian government denies that there are crowds of protesters in the street. They’re out there, like 100,000 people in the streets of Iran protesting. But the government denies that protests are going on. They say it’s just citizens enjoying their new pedestrian mall.

伊朗政府否认有反对者抗议，街上有100000人在游行反对选举结果，政府说那不是抗议，只不过是在体验新的步行街。

Jimmy Fallon

Well, the results from Iran’s presidential elections are in. And Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has declared victory. But his opponent, Mir Hussein Moussavi, is claiming ballot fraud and wants an investigation. If that doesn’t work, he’s planning on making a documentary about global warming.

伊朗大选结果出来了，内贾德获胜。但是对手Moussavi不服，说选举有猫腻，要求调查。如果不行的话，他就准备去拍关于全球变暖的纪录片（影射下戈尔）

David Letterman

I’m Dave Letterman, goodwill ambassador. I got a call from Mom earlier today and she told me she was siding with the Governor.

我是David Letterma。亲善大使。我今天接到我妈的电话，她说她支持佩林。

Honestly, how many of you are only here tonight hoping that I’ll offend somebody else?

如实招来，有多少人就是想看看我如何激怒某人。

Here’s good news for visitors. Times Square, have you been down to Times Square? It’s now — well, it’s now a pedestrian mall. They have 400 beach chairs in the middle of the street. And if you don’t get one of those beach chairs, well, I’ll lend you a bag of my hate mail. You can relax on that.

游客的好消息，时代广场，这个大家都去过吧，现在变成了步行街。街道中间放了400个沙滩椅。但如果你没抢到座位的话，我可以借你一包我收到的抱怨信件，足够你躺在上面放松下了。

And then, after the elections, the supreme leader in Iran certified the election results and shipped the crooked voting machines back to Florida.

大选结束后，伊朗大法官公证了选举结果，然后把可以作弊的投票器还给了佛罗里达。

Conan O'Brien

Obviously, ladies and gentlemen, big, big news is from Iran right now. Incredible, three days of riots, street fighting, people setting fire to everything. I’m not sure who won over there, Ahmadinejad or the Lakers.

伊朗出大事了，难以置信，连续三天暴乱，街头暴力，放火。我搞不懂到底是谁赢了，内贾德还是湖人。

Tough times all over. Amusement park company Six Flags is filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. Experts say it’s due in large part to their money-losing ride, Chrysler Mountain.

世事多艰啊，娱乐公园Six Flags申请了破产保护。专家表示主要是因为那个叫“克莱斯勒”山的那个娱乐项目亏损太多。

回到美国时差问题大早晨9点就起来了，正好赶上国家队和德国队热身赛下半场，那是必须要看的。打得不错，最重要的是国家队终于开始注意打地面了，开始技术足球了。让我很是欣慰啊哈哈。

高中之前我都是“专业球员”的，踢球时间比学习时间多，小学时是每天早上晚上在操场踢，初中只有水泥操场就周末到附近的广裕小学踢，现在还记得那时候广裕小学被练轮子的霸占，我们就在人堆里爆射，不时踢到练功者，后来电视上看到他们中有人剖腹自焚啥的，心里直后怕。现在最后悔的就是高中和大学没有继续踢球，但是足球梦想一直存在，那就是代表中国国家队比赛。

我短暂的足球生涯都是在土场上度过的，没踢过草坪，土场上没有飞铲，没有倒钩，全是脚下传递，所以那时候技术是衡量我们水平的唯一标准，具体地说就是过人能力，因为这个，我喜欢彭伟国，喜欢张效瑞，喜欢李金羽，喜欢巴西阿根廷。但国家队一直以来似乎在踢另一种足球，靠速度靠力量，有的国脚真的是球都停不好，这样的队伍打东南亚的矮小队伍和足球落后国家还行。国足衰败我认为就是不重视技术，当年最爱张效瑞，比赛突破外国球员像玩一样，我就喜欢这样的，即使不进球也好看，但是不知道为什么渐渐就在国家队消失了。

这次国家队又开始回归技术了，但愿。我希望即使刚开始几年十几年成绩很惨也要坚持，中国人就是要玩技术的，这才是我们出路，看看日本队吧，刚开始玩技术足球还被我们虐呢，现在怎么样，中国恐日的时间肯定超过恐韩的时间，因为技术才是王道，日本成功了，就是靠坚持，坚持技术足球。

巴萨夺冠也使我们注意到现在国际足球的规则越来越有利于技术足球的，对于铲球等技术动作判罚非常严格，所以巴萨队员在对方禁区内如蝴蝶般穿梭来去自如，国家队在这个时候重走技术足球之路再合适不过了。

欣赏技术足球，最本质的原因呢，我想了，就是我的审美观，宁可最后输球，也要全场牢牢控制足球在自己脚下，不给对手拿球机会。过人，小范围脚下配合才是足球最美的精华。